Men For Sobriety

What is meant by "The Program"? How do we view it? How is it to be used?

The Men for Sobriety New Life Program is comprised of thirteen Acceptance Statements that, when internalized and used, will provide each man with a new way of life through a new way of thinking.

As men with addictions, we must learn about ourselves and how to avoid the pitfalls of faulty thinking and destructive behavior that used to lead us to taking that first drink or drug, even though we sometimes did not want to.

Since we had a faulty approach to life and living, we must turn our attention to finding new ways of overcoming. This starts with coping first but then moving on to overcoming and a whole change in our approach to each day.

To make the program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the thirteen Acceptance Statements. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day, just before sleeping, review the use of it and what affects it had that day for you and your actions. For some, it has proven helpful to use a notebook for recording the sequences of the day and the statement's effects upon you.

To make the program effective for you, it must be consciously used each day. Never forget that our faulty thinking is a result of many years. It cannot be corrected overnight. It takes a long time to realize that most of what we thought was cast in a negative view.

The philosophy of the Men for Sobriety New Life Program is that the image precedes our actions. Whatever we think, we eventually act out. If our thoughts are always negative, our actions will also be negative. If our thoughts are positive, so are our actions. One writer once said a garden of weeds cannot produce a beautiful flower. This is also true of our minds. If we have upsetting thoughts, we cannot have a serene life.

We used to think that life was upsetting and our problems followed but it is usually the other way around. Our thoughts were confused and negative, and life's actions came to be that way also. We create our own world. No one else does. We are responsible for ourselves and our choices. What we are, we made ourselves become.

We have the power of changing our way of thinking. We live in the atmosphere created by our mind and our thoughts.

We are now beginning to create a new man, the man we always wanted to be but never thought possible. The Men for Sobriety New Life Program helps you to change your thinking and shows you how to be the dynamic man you have the capability of becoming. We begin by being in charge of our actions through our thoughts. We no longer react but, now, begin to act the way we want to act. We end game playing. We become our whole person by learning independent thinking.

Negative thoughts, so much a part of the life of men in active addiction, are often carried into sobriety. These negative thoughts frequently make the sober man unhappy and depressed. He begins to wonder if sobriety is really worth it.

We used substances to cover pain, emotional pain. When we remove the substances, we must then learn a way to remove the emotional pain, which requires a new way of thinking about life.

Our program makes sobriety a happy existence by helping us to understand ourselves better. Our sobriety is more than simply a period of time in which we are not drinking or using; it becomes a happy learning experience.

Learn to know yourself and your addiction. This is how to overcome.

Level 1: Acceptance of having a Substance Use Disorder, one that requires the cessation of substance use.

Acceptance Statement 1

We accept our addiction with the knowledge that we have a disorder and that abstinence from substances is necessary. We recognize that substances have damaged our bodies and minds, and special care and time are required for recovery. We learn more about substance use disorders and group members give needed support and the feeling of not being alone with our problems.

Level 2: Discarding negative thoughts, putting guilt behind, and practicing new ways of viewing and solving problems.

We are now ready to examine our attitudes and approach to life and its dilemmas. This is a time to write down in detail our concepts, experiences, difficulties, and feelings. We may believe that we are well aware of our thinking and attitudes, but only after we have written them with total honesty do we know what they really are - not what we thought them to be. Most men are surprised by this revelation.

At this stage we must also recognize the distorted, negative, and self-destructive patterns we have developed and resolve to change. This level is difficult and takes some time. Also, during a later period of stress, we may need to return to these exercises (or review any level). This is not a matter of failure, but an opportunity to grow and change again at times of crisis.

A physical exercise routine should now be established and a method for relaxation and meditation. Group members add support and positive reinforcements.

Level 3: Creating and practicing a new self-image.

Acceptance Statements 5 and 12

We are now ready to exchange our irrational, negative attitudes for realistic, positive thoughts about ourselves and our lives. We realize that our thoughts are responsible for our feelings and not the events, people, or situations themselves.

This level can be a happy time of growth and change. One unpleasant incident need not ruin an entire day; a mishap can be “unfortunate” and not “awful;” a mistake, “a learning experience,” not “a wretched blunder.”

We can make our environment pleasant, uncluttered and attractive and know that we alone create the world around us.

Level 4: Using new attitudes to enforce new behavior patterns.

Acceptance Statements 3, 6, and 11

We now become aware that we do not need to wait for or to seek enthusiasm and happiness - all we need do is reach out and grasp them. We can accept a happy and enthusiastic outlook on life or we can choose a gloomy, pessimistic and cynical approach - it is up to us. This level leads us to the next stage; much of the joy in life depends on sharing with others - happiness and enthusiasm are reinforced by those to whom we are close.

Level 5: Improving relationships as a result of our new feelings about self.

Acceptance Statements 7 and 10

This level can be difficult for most men. Our culture has taught us to be over-dependent on others - by attaching our self-esteem to our relationships and to approval from others. Our value as a person often depends on our relation to others and not on our own intrinsic worth. On the other hand, we fear and dread rejection and hurt. Now is the time to take risks - be open about our feelings - be vulnerable - balance giving and receiving. Mature, loving relationships can bring us the greatest happiness of all. And their success depends primarily on how we feel about ourselves.

Level 6: Recognizing life’s priorities: emotional and spiritual growth, self-responsibility.

Acceptance Statements 8 and 13

As we gain in knowledge and understanding of ourselves, our connection to others and our place in the world, we find a spiritual home that is both unique and personal to us. We nurture our spiritual growth and reach out to encourage self-responsibility and self-worth, not just for ourselves, but also for others.

As a man grows in strength and understanding in this program, the need and desire to cope with life’s problems with alcohol or drugs are removed. His destructive behavior and emotions are replaced with self-acceptance and confidence. He is no longer just a man with an addiction problem; he is liberated and at peace with himself and his world.

Thousands of men have found this “new life” through the Men for sobriety Program.