Acceptance Statement 1
We accept our addiction with the knowledge that we have a disorder and that abstinence from substances is necessary. We recognize that substances have damaged our bodies and minds, and special care and time are required for recovery. We learn more about substance use disorders and group members give needed support and the feeling of not being alone with our problems.
We are now ready to examine our attitudes and approach to life and its dilemmas. This is a time to write down in detail our concepts, experiences, difficulties, and feelings. We may believe that we are well aware of our thinking and attitudes, but only after we have written them with total honesty do we know what they really are - not what we thought them to be. Most men are surprised by this revelation.
At this stage we must also recognize the distorted, negative, and self-destructive patterns we have developed and resolve to change. This level is difficult and takes some time. Also, during a later period of stress, we may need to return to these exercises (or review any level). This is not a matter of failure, but an opportunity to grow and change again at times of crisis.
A physical exercise routine should now be established and a method for relaxation and meditation. Group members add support and positive reinforcements.
Acceptance Statements 5 and 12
We are now ready to exchange our irrational, negative attitudes for realistic, positive thoughts about ourselves and our lives. We realize that our thoughts are responsible for our feelings and not the events, people, or situations themselves.
This level can be a happy time of growth and change. One unpleasant incident need not ruin an entire day; a mishap can be “unfortunate” and not “awful;” a mistake, “a learning experience,” not “a wretched blunder.”
We can make our environment pleasant, uncluttered and attractive and know that we alone create the world around us.
Acceptance Statements 3, 6, and 11
We now become aware that we do not need to wait for or to seek enthusiasm and happiness - all we need do is reach out and grasp them. We can accept a happy and enthusiastic outlook on life or we can choose a gloomy, pessimistic and cynical approach - it is up to us. This level leads us to the next stage; much of the joy in life depends on sharing with others - happiness and enthusiasm are reinforced by those to whom we are close.
Acceptance Statements 7 and 10
This level can be difficult for most men. Our culture has taught us to be over-dependent on others - by attaching our self-esteem to our relationships and to approval from others. Our value as a person often depends on our relation to others and not on our own intrinsic worth. On the other hand, we fear and dread rejection and hurt. Now is the time to take risks - be open about our feelings - be vulnerable - balance giving and receiving. Mature, loving relationships can bring us the greatest happiness of all. And their success depends primarily on how we feel about ourselves.
Acceptance Statements 8 and 13
As we gain in knowledge and understanding of ourselves, our connection to others and our place in the world, we find a spiritual home that is both unique and personal to us. We nurture our spiritual growth and reach out to encourage self-responsibility and self-worth, not just for ourselves, but also for others.
As a man grows in strength and understanding in this program, the need and desire to cope with life’s problems with alcohol or drugs are removed. His destructive behavior and emotions are replaced with self-acceptance and confidence. He is no longer just a man with an addiction problem; he is liberated and at peace with himself and his world.
Thousands of men have found this “new life” through the Men for sobriety Program.